The Lord Of The Rings: remix
by ThespasticChipmunks
Summary: ok, You will understand this all better when you read the story. because at the end of chapter 2 we will explain it all. the first chapter is just a introduction. You'll love it. I do. I laughed so hard when we first thought of this. but it really


Disclaimer  
  
We'd like to add that we don't own the lord of the rings books, we didn't write them. The man who did was wonderful, and had a most admirable imagination. Thank you, that will be all.  
  
The Lord Of The Rings: REMIX  
  
Bilbo was one of the most talked about Hobbits in all the shire. No one could stop talking about his mysterious disappearance, and then, right when that had died down, they had a new hot topic, his miraculous reappearance. It was still going around 27 years after the event had occurred. Bilbo took it all in stride most of the time, but sometimes when it seemed that people only wanted to talk to him because he was famous, at times like that he just wished he had someone who would talk to him, because he was him.  
  
He took to staying inside his hobbit hole for days on end, and his appetite diminished, which is a dangerous thing for a hobbits appetite to do. His neighbor Hamfast Gamgee came over one day to visit him. Hamfast was Bilbo's gardener, and his closest friend. Being such he had great opportunity to sell everything he knew about Bilbo, which was a lot, he'd been working there since Bilbo was a young hobbit lad, and he was an even younger hobbit lad. There'd even been some very generous offers made, gold and jools, in exchange for all of Bilbo's little quirks and oddities, which were as plain as day anyway. But Hamfast, ever the loyal friend, would not be bought. "That kind of gossip just isn't right," he'd say. "Now about Farmer Maggots new crop of mushrooms, I hear-"  
  
Because he was always working on Bag end's garden, Hamfast could see that his master was feeling a bit under the weather. One day he suggested that bilbo take a trip to go see his cousins over in Tookborough. And hadn't one of them just had a baby? What a great holiday for Bilbo. Of course Bilbo jumped at the opportunity to go see relatives, who were more normal than any other hobbits in the shire, they already talked about you all the time anyway. So 2 days after Hamfast's suggestion, after he'd sent word of his coming to his relatives, and he'd packed plenty of presents for all those relatives of his, off he went, his sack full of food for the journey, and gifts to give. And of course, his walking stick.  
  
Upon his arrival he was met with a tidal wave of little hobbit lads and lasses, all clamoring for presents form "uncle bilbo". He gladly handed out all the little presents he'd brought for them, and smiled as their eyes lit up in pleasure. Magical toys from lake town were always appreciated, no matter how small.  
  
And then he headed for the cottage of Drogo and Primula Baggins.  
  
He arrived to a scene of chaos.  
  
Their cottage, which was on the banks of the Brandywine River, was vacant, but there was a large group of people huddled down at the waters edge.  
  
Bilbo knew something was amiss the moment he set eyes on the scene.  
  
"What has happened?" He asked a nearby cousin.  
  
"Drogo, and Primula were out boating, they go every afternoon. Well, Drogo was leaning over, because he thought he saw a fish, and Primula was worried for his safety, and she went over to pull him back from the side, and, (sniff, sniff) The boat capsized! Neither of them have come up yet, we fear they have drowned!"  
  
"Oh dear," Bilbo said, "And I had just come to visit them."  
  
"I see something movie about on the boat!"  
  
"Could it be one of them?"  
  
"I don't know, perhaps."  
  
"Oh why doesn't someone find out?"  
  
"I hope they're both alright"  
  
"Maybe their just clinging to the boat from the water, and we just haven't seen them, because they're behind it."  
  
"Yeah, mayb-"  
  
Just then a piercing cry arose from the boat.  
  
"They took the baby with them!"  
  
"That's horrible!"  
  
"And the poor little thing is still out there in that boat? In the middle of the river?"  
  
"Why yes, that must be what's moving about inside!"  
  
And just then a black curly head, with big blue eyes poked over the side of the boat, looked down, saw what there was to see, and let out an ear- piercing cry.  
  
So now they were in a right fix.  
  
There they were standing on the bank, and there was poor little Frodo, for Bilbo had been told by one of the nearby cousins that that is what they had named the baby, stuck out on the boat, all alone, in the middle of the Brandywine river.  
  
Just then Bilbo felt a cold, wrinkled hand on his shoulder.  
  
He turned to see the old Took standing behind him, and he almost soiled himself.  
  
"You should go get the baby."  
  
"O-o-o-o-o I, the O-old TOOK!"  
  
"Yes, it's me, now shush, I finally got away from all these relatives, I don't want them to find that I'm not dead, or it's back to the mansion with me, I'm in no shape to be out of doors. You see? So just go save the baby, and don't blow my cover."  
  
"Oh yes Old Took, I'll go at once." Bilbo promised backing away slowly from the old took; he didn't realize what had been going on.  
  
"Bilbo! You would volunteer to go out in a boat to get the poor babe?"  
  
"I- w-what?"  
  
"we just asked for a volunteer to go get poor little Frodo, and you've stepped up! Good man." The fellow cousin said, patting Bilbo on the back gingerly, as though he was touching a dead thing.  
  
So Bilbo had stepped up, and he'd been given a job.  
  
The wild tookishness in him said, "go do it! Go on!" and the dreadfully proper side said "no! Look what just happened to poor Drogo, and Primula? Do you want that to happen to you?"  
  
But as usual the tookish side won.  
  
Bilbo soon found himself in a small row boat, heading across the waters of the Brandywine, making straight for the little craft that had lost most of it's passengers save one, who was still wailing.  
  
Bilbo pulled up to the other boat, bumped sides, and had to make a fast grab before the other boat pulled away. And then he looked in, and he saw the little figure, wailing, face down on the deck, curled into a ball. Poor thing couldn't be more than a year old.  
  
"Come here, come to Uncle Bilbo, I'll keep you safe."  
  
The small hobbit looked up, and with saffire blue eyes, surveyed this new being.  
  
The wailing ceased, and everyone ashore gasped, as Bilbo reached over the side of his boat, and scooped up the frightened little hobbit-child. And then, without further a duo the two began to make their way toward shore, one rowing, and the other clinging desperately to it's saviour.  
  
Ok There is our first chappie. We just thought we'd introduce the idea gently. Because, we hope that it is something few people have thought of before. You will soon see what we mean. And I shall explain how the concept of the story came about. And you will laugh your head off, although, the story is more of a serious, romantic, love story type of thing.  
  
But, I swear to you! I will make sure, that it is funny. If you have read any of Pzanna's stories, then I will tell you this much, she is my role model. I LOVE all of her stories, I wish I could write like she does.  
  
You should read them.  
  
Farewell 


End file.
